Although this post has nothing to do with the civil rights anecdote that stretches a good hundred and fifty years or longer in the great Sam Cooke record , this expression is quite relevant in each and every one of our lives.
Ever had a deep sense of knowing or an instinct tell you that it was time to make some life changes, but you felt too confused to make them?
I’ve certainly had those.
After graduating from university years ago, I felt completely confused about what I was going to do with my life. I was asking myself questions like: How am I going to find meaning? What should I do for a career? How can I make my dreams a reality? I put intense pressure on myself & it did me no good. I remember moving back home after uni, lying down in bed, and I would reading non-stop for hours, eager to run from the intense confusion of reality & the endless questions running through my mind; I was shit scared.
Scared to start a job, but scared not to. Scared to move away from the comforts of home, but deep down I couldn’t wait to get out. Scared of the unknown, but also excited by the fact that anything could happen!
Change alarmed me, so I mislead myself into thinking that it was too complicated & confusing. For a couple months, I did nothing & the frustration had grown into a monster.
Fear-based confusion is when you have a gut instinct that things are “off,” or you want to make a major life change, but you feel a jumbled mess & don’t know how to take action.
Sounds familiar?
Maybe you’re confused about making a career change, a move to a new city, ending a relationship, or about how to get your finances in order. I think we’ve all experienced this fear-gripping confusion in one form or another, and I know how frustrating it can feel.
But I’ve noticed that the awareness of fear as the base for your confusion can drastically reduce your stress about it.
You’re certainly not alone or helpless. And luckily, fear-based confusion is easy to move beyond.
1. Follow your excitement.
If the dread or fear runs deep, following your excitement will help. For example, instead of trying to answer the question, what should I do with my life, ask yourself, what excites me right now?
Write out a list of all the activities and experiences that excite you. Try and not judge this list. It doesn’t matter if things on your list seem small or insignificant.
For me, simply an early swim then a walk to a local cafe for a flat white and some reading is something that really excites me first thing in the morning.
There are many benefits to following what excites you in this moment.
- You start to feel more excited about your life. And two,
- Your excitement usually leads you to people + experiences that will help you set a direction for yourself.
Following your excitement is much less daunting than trying to figure out your whole life. In addition, it leaves room for expansion and gives you the freedom to continually try new things.
2. Decide on your direction.
Decisions,decisions. They come in many shapes and forms. But it is crucial to decide very clearly on the direction you want to go in.
Making a clear decision is the quickest way out of confusion. I know this sounds obvious, but sometimes we have insane inner thoughts that hold us back. Thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve this.”
But you most definitely are good enough & surely you do deserve peace no matter what you’re telling yourself. Believe in yourself enough to make a decision and know that you will make the right one. Don’t worry about making a “bad” decision. In my opinion, making no decision at all is often worse.
Once you make the initial decision, you will in turn be positively associated with people & experiences that help you flourish & move forward.
Breathe, become aware of how your decision feels in your body, and act on whatever option has a sense of lightness and openness to it.
3. Release your expectations.
This is a noble struggle for me. Most of the time I feel that expectations leads to disappointment. When I finally make the decision to change, I happen to proceed to come up with a detailed set of plans for how it should all go down, immediately in search for something that will make me feel secure in the face of change. But life doesn’t always pan out the way we expect it to.
It’s perfectly okay to focus on what you want, but I like to try and leave the details to The Beloved One, and simply focus on what I’m excited and capable of doing right now. This allows you to feel joy now instead of making your joy dependant on a certain outcome in the future. Release your expectations and let the world in. Release your expectations and let other people in, let life and love in, and let happiness in.
As you focus on following what excites you in this moment, the clouds of confusion begin to part and you can see your direction more clearly. Then, moving toward it with inner confidence becomes natural.
Once you take the first step, everything else will unfold for you.
Have a great weekend ahead! 🙂
X
road to zealness 